In My Emotions

 I think I have found peace in me, I think I am now in my safe place,I have started to accept myself as I am and slowly I'm starting to have confidence with myself, although it is not easy but I can see the results of praying and begging God, and I know soon I will be okay with myself, with out wanting any comfortion from others, I just hope that I don't go back to the dark that I was it, I hope God continues in hearing my prayers and healing my heart from.what I don't talk about. 

 Nope But if I ever get a lover, I wish it could be someone who will love my scares more than I do, someone who will assure me that he love everttime he gets a chance, someone who will protect me, someone who I will be safe to be around with, someone who will respect, someone who is afraid of losing me, someone who is not afraid to show the world how much he loves and cares for me. Someone who we can be teammates, partners, best friend and lovers together. Someone who I can do anything and everything with them. Someone who will not abuse me(physical or emotional). Someone who will be able to communicate with me whe we having a problem, and won't sleep at night without sloving a problem or when we are having an argument. Someone who will give me his time, attention, assurance, respect and lastly his love. But If i ever get a lover.

 I have learned that it's okay to be a loner it okay to be alone, do not force friendships 🙃and you have to okay to be alone do that you can also be okay to with someone else, having someone else while you still can't be okay to be with yourself first is a lot of work. 

 I like watching the sun set even I haven't had time to watch it  I like watching city lights I like spending time.with the ones that I love  I like late night drives and morning drives I like, Nope, I love eating 😋😌 Bar one cake Kit Kat

 Today I had my first achievement, I used to cry or hate myself more when someone doesn't understand my situation (my eyes) the way I look at them, but today I didn't feel bad I didn't feel embarrassed, I just smiled and said "it's okay". Hopefully one day I will recover and trust and love myself more also and accept myself, today was the first step♥️ I'm proud of myself 

 Maybe relationships are not meant for me

 I wish I can also be enough to someone I wish to travel the world I wish to spend time with the ones that I love I wish to go up there and have a beautiful view of the city at night I wish to have a good relationship with my parents I wish to have a happy family  I wish to have a beautiful life and achieve all my dreams

 A person who loves sunsets✨.

 To have my back and have your back in everything we do just know we have each other

 "Because I was tired on holding on a friendship that was one sided, and I just let it go because clearly the chemistry was no longer there, we can't keep people who don't want to be kept, and it was breaking my heart to see that I'm the only one who was putting an effort, but I decided to let it go and give her space and let her enjoy having other friends because she was happy with them and I am not a hater I'm just happy that she is happy with her friends "

 Let me love you with your flaws, nobody is perfect, just lean on me and let me in, I will do the same too

 The right one will always show up and hold you through  Any little chance you get be happy 😊

 That not everyone loves me and I should appreciate the love that I receive from my mother. I cannot make everyone love me I am a ment to be alone and a boring person I am different and I need to just learn to love with that No one will ever love, support me like my mother does Last but not least I should accept that not everyone loves me including someone whose is do close to me and so I should not believe that I will be loved by others and not the person who is my parent, so I shouldn't trust what they say because what will make them love me where as my father decided to be not be present in my love.

 I will keep on working on my confidence for me not for anyone or to be loved but to give my self the love that I am carrying in my heart. 

I will trade anything just for peace of mind, no stress, no anxiety, no depression