In My Emotions

 I think I have found peace in me, I think I am now in my safe place,I have started to accept myself as I am and slowly I'm starting to have confidence with myself, although it is not easy but I can see the results of praying and begging God, and I know soon I will be okay with myself, with out wanting any comfortion from others, I just hope that I don't go back to the dark that I was it, I hope God continues in hearing my prayers and healing my heart from.what I don't talk about. 

 Nope But if I ever get a lover, I wish it could be someone who will love my scares more than I do, someone who will assure me that he love everttime he gets a chance, someone who will protect me, someone who I will be safe to be around with, someone who will respect, someone who is afraid of losing me, someone who is not afraid to show the world how much he loves and cares for me. Someone who we can be teammates, partners, best friend and lovers together. Someone who I can do anything and everything with them. Someone who will not abuse me(physical or emotional). Someone who will be able to communicate with me whe we having a problem, and won't sleep at night without sloving a problem or when we are having an argument. Someone who will give me his time, attention, assurance, respect and lastly his love. But If i ever get a lover.

 I have learned that it's okay to be a loner it okay to be alone, do not force friendships 🙃and you have to okay to be alone do that you can also be okay to with someone else, having someone else while you still can't be okay to be with yourself first is a lot of work. 

 I like watching the sun set even I haven't had time to watch it  I like watching city lights I like spending time.with the ones that I love  I like late night drives and morning drives I like, Nope, I love eating 😋😌 Bar one cake Kit Kat

 Today I had my first achievement, I used to cry or hate myself more when someone doesn't understand my situation (my eyes) the way I look at them, but today I didn't feel bad I didn't feel embarrassed, I just smiled and said "it's okay". Hopefully one day I will recover and trust and love myself more also and accept myself, today was the first step♥️ I'm proud of myself